Today was a good day. Here's a quick list of the reasons why:
1. Spent my 1st period prep at Tully's. Not only did I get a lot of work done on my iCals for the coming week... I did so while enjoying a Honey Milk Latte and cinnamon roll. Wonderful start to the day!
2. My Junior Humanities block worked very hard to finish up their Columbus group assignments today. Considering that there were 27 laptops out for 2 straight class periods, the potential for distraction was very high, but the groups were incredibly focused on the whole, and were mature and responsible in their use of the computers. I'm proud of my Humanities crew!
3. My freshmen world history students really got into their storytelling--they've been learning and practicing retelling creation myths from all over the world. Today, they had to practice for several partners and provide feedback to each other. All across the board, I saw animated tellings with wonderful tone, gestures, eye contact, etc. This is a class of performers and I am really looking forward to working with them this year as they develop presentation, debate and of course, storytelling skills.
4. I don't have too much prep to do tonight. A little, but nowhere near as much as this time last week! We're 8 days into the school year. You may now use electronic devices and we are turning off the seat belt sign!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Self-awareness
Despite how I may seem, I consider myself to be a shy person at the core. Definitely introverted, if not shy.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, I taught myself how to act outgoing. This often comes in handy for teaching, especially when I need to try and draw out students who are also shy... however, this ability also proves to be detrimental in other situations.
Small group settings, for instance... though deep down my natural instinct is to keep quiet and not draw attention to myself (or at least, it used to be), I find myself talking a lot. Too much, sometimes. I find that I have a difficult time with silences and gaps in conversation, and often try to fill those gaps by speaking up. Sometimes I don't even wait for gaps--I just try to throw in my two cents, solicited or not... I try to one-up the story that had just been told... I try to be funny or goofy. For these reasons, I tend to not be a very good listener, as I spend most of my time during group conversations trying to think of what I can say next. But really, isn't this tantamount to not thinking? You see, thinking involves listening... REALLY listening and processing what others are saying, and then responding appropriately (which is not always by chiming in my opinion or telling a story of my own). The result is that I end up saying lots of things that simply don't need to be said. Not hurtful, necessarily, nor offensive... pointless, though. Shallow, a waste of breath and time.
Lately, I've been trying to put myself into the shoes of others (this being a skill I am asking my students to practice), and see myself as others see me. The result isn't always flattering, but at the same time, I know that this process will help me to grow, ultimately. The frustrating thing is, I know that it's not my nature to talk too much and say unnecessary things. It started with a behavior that I taught myself and practiced in an effort to overcome my shyness, and now it occasionally mutates to an extreme that I would not have predicted.
I pray that God will grant me the patience to deal with lulls and silences in conversation... that He will grant me the wisdom to know when to speak as well as when not to. I pray that I may practice being an active listener this year and that I may grow in my ability to communicate with others by speaking less myself.
Self-awareness, when you're being really honest with yourself, is scary and painful. Fortunately, it's part of a process and not the final portrait of who you are.
Somehow, somewhere along the line, I taught myself how to act outgoing. This often comes in handy for teaching, especially when I need to try and draw out students who are also shy... however, this ability also proves to be detrimental in other situations.
Small group settings, for instance... though deep down my natural instinct is to keep quiet and not draw attention to myself (or at least, it used to be), I find myself talking a lot. Too much, sometimes. I find that I have a difficult time with silences and gaps in conversation, and often try to fill those gaps by speaking up. Sometimes I don't even wait for gaps--I just try to throw in my two cents, solicited or not... I try to one-up the story that had just been told... I try to be funny or goofy. For these reasons, I tend to not be a very good listener, as I spend most of my time during group conversations trying to think of what I can say next. But really, isn't this tantamount to not thinking? You see, thinking involves listening... REALLY listening and processing what others are saying, and then responding appropriately (which is not always by chiming in my opinion or telling a story of my own). The result is that I end up saying lots of things that simply don't need to be said. Not hurtful, necessarily, nor offensive... pointless, though. Shallow, a waste of breath and time.
Lately, I've been trying to put myself into the shoes of others (this being a skill I am asking my students to practice), and see myself as others see me. The result isn't always flattering, but at the same time, I know that this process will help me to grow, ultimately. The frustrating thing is, I know that it's not my nature to talk too much and say unnecessary things. It started with a behavior that I taught myself and practiced in an effort to overcome my shyness, and now it occasionally mutates to an extreme that I would not have predicted.
I pray that God will grant me the patience to deal with lulls and silences in conversation... that He will grant me the wisdom to know when to speak as well as when not to. I pray that I may practice being an active listener this year and that I may grow in my ability to communicate with others by speaking less myself.
Self-awareness, when you're being really honest with yourself, is scary and painful. Fortunately, it's part of a process and not the final portrait of who you are.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Sabbaths
I sang a setting of this Wendell Berry poem while in choir in college. At the time, I didn't fully grasp the beauty of the imagery and meaning of the song--they were just words that I had to sing. Now, over four years later, I still can't completely wrap my head around what this new creation will look like, but I have a deeper appreciation for the promise of beauty and renewal in this text.
Imagine--imagine watching the sun set over the ocean on a summer evening... a moment that takes your breath away, makes you marvel at God's handiwork and declare "truly, this is a beautiful world!" This is but a shadow of the new creation to come--once the veil of sin has been lifted, thrown off once and for all, we will see the world as it was intended to be seen, become more fully ourselves than we ever dared hope, and enjoy a beauty beyond our wildest reckoning. At that time, all of creation will cry out in praise to the Most High, whose majesty will be revealed in every last detail of that perfect splendor--the field, the woods and all in them.
"What Stood Will Stand" by Wendell Berry
What stood will stand, though all be fallen,
The good return that time has stolen.
Though creatures groan in misery,
Their flesh prefigures liberty
To end travail and bring to birth their new perfection in new earth.
Imagine--imagine watching the sun set over the ocean on a summer evening... a moment that takes your breath away, makes you marvel at God's handiwork and declare "truly, this is a beautiful world!" This is but a shadow of the new creation to come--once the veil of sin has been lifted, thrown off once and for all, we will see the world as it was intended to be seen, become more fully ourselves than we ever dared hope, and enjoy a beauty beyond our wildest reckoning. At that time, all of creation will cry out in praise to the Most High, whose majesty will be revealed in every last detail of that perfect splendor--the field, the woods and all in them.
"What Stood Will Stand" by Wendell Berry
What stood will stand, though all be fallen,
The good return that time has stolen.
Though creatures groan in misery,
Their flesh prefigures liberty
To end travail and bring to birth their new perfection in new earth.
At word of that enlivening
Let the trees of the woods all sing.
And every field rejoice, let praise
Rise up out of the ground like grass.
What stood - whole in every piecemeal thing that stood -
Will stand though all fall.
Field and woods and all in them,
Rejoin the primal Sabbath’s hymn.
Friday, September 2, 2011
For when I'm feeling weary and burdened
As the new school year picks up speed, I’ve been thinking a lot about the value of weekends. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job—hopefully that’s true of most of us. However, there’s something about having Saturday and Sunday off (or perhaps other days, for those not in the teaching profession) that is so necessary.
Of course, there’s the physical rest—that’s nice. Sleeping in on Saturday, even if it’s only till 7:30 or 8 is a beautiful feeling. However, I believe that there’s more to it than this.
In Matthew 11: 28, Christ extends a profound invitation:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Even working jobs that we love, even while we are fulfilling our calling in life, we can still tire out—can still encounter frustrations, disappointments and unexpected challenges. So when Christ offers His yoke to us, a yoke that is easy and a burden that is light, He is offering us something greater than mere physical relaxation; He’s offering reprieve from all of the things that upset us, stress us out and hurt us on a day to day basis.
The key is this—finding our rest in Christ. It’s not enough to simply say “Well, I’m tired, I’m going to sleep all day Saturday.” No, we need to spend time in prayer, time meditating on the Word, time praising and rejoicing in Christ’s goodness and mercy. It is from our LORD that we receive our calling and the abilities to do our jobs, and so at the end of the day, we must lay all of that at His feet: gratitude for the successes we’ve experienced and hope for relief from the struggles and challenges.
If we don’t do this, our lives begin to unravel quicker than a ball of yarn and we eventually buckle beneath the weight of the stresses in our lives. However, when we lay all at the feet of the King, when we truly find our rest in Him, we find ourselves rejuvenated in more than just a physical sense—our broken hearts are repaired, our parched souls refreshed and our clouded minds sharpened. We return to our routine, our responsibilities with renewed vigor and purpose that can only come from the power of Christ.
This shouldn’t only happen on the weekends, but the weekends provide a natural opportunity to set aside time to reflect and rest in Christ, a reminder that no matter how busy our lives may get, we’ve been given the gift of Sabbath rest. To the weary, burdened soul, there could be no better oasis.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Friday Morning, September 2
Strange weather this morning--truly strange. There's a small zone between raining and not raining that some refer to as "misting". Well, this morning, it was definitely misting. It was bright out--the sun shone through the breaks in the clouds (which didn't even look like rain-clouds), but as I biked to school, I could feel the cool droplets of moisture, almost microscopic, alighting on my face and hands. It did not feel like the moisture was coming down from the sky as rain does, but rather as though it were simply hanging in the air waiting for unsuspecting pedestrians to pass through.
As I neared school, the droplets got bigger and, it would seem, suddenly became vulnerable to the laws of gravity once again. All at once they started to splash on me, and what was refreshing a minute before became drenching. Then, minutes later, it stopped raining, stopped misting altogether. The moisture was still there, though--invisible but definitely not undetectable: a perpetual curtain of steam so unbearable that one can't help but wonder when the fever will break.
That didn't stop me from writing a majority of this post outside in the plaza. Remember, I get my outdoors time when I can since my job is predominantly an indoor job. I moved only when the fat raindrops began to fall once again and I moved for my computer's sake more than my own.
We're on the borderline between summer and fall. The heat and the humidity will break down a little bit with every typhoon that passes through (or at least nearby). One day in the next few weeks, it won't be hot or humid at all, summer's intensity will have vanished without a trace. Leaves are also starting to fall from the trees out in the plaza. Not many, but enough to create a mile-post of sorts, heralding the rapid approach of autumn. And so, the seasons change. The school-year is now more than a week underway, today being our second Friday back. We, teachers and students alike, are finding a routine. The initial fears, nerves and excitement of the school year are subsiding and now we begin the task of gathering energy and building classroom relationship for the months ahead.
As I neared school, the droplets got bigger and, it would seem, suddenly became vulnerable to the laws of gravity once again. All at once they started to splash on me, and what was refreshing a minute before became drenching. Then, minutes later, it stopped raining, stopped misting altogether. The moisture was still there, though--invisible but definitely not undetectable: a perpetual curtain of steam so unbearable that one can't help but wonder when the fever will break.
That didn't stop me from writing a majority of this post outside in the plaza. Remember, I get my outdoors time when I can since my job is predominantly an indoor job. I moved only when the fat raindrops began to fall once again and I moved for my computer's sake more than my own.
We're on the borderline between summer and fall. The heat and the humidity will break down a little bit with every typhoon that passes through (or at least nearby). One day in the next few weeks, it won't be hot or humid at all, summer's intensity will have vanished without a trace. Leaves are also starting to fall from the trees out in the plaza. Not many, but enough to create a mile-post of sorts, heralding the rapid approach of autumn. And so, the seasons change. The school-year is now more than a week underway, today being our second Friday back. We, teachers and students alike, are finding a routine. The initial fears, nerves and excitement of the school year are subsiding and now we begin the task of gathering energy and building classroom relationship for the months ahead.
Hymns for the evening
I realized as I was biking home along the river that this (8:00 pm) is the earliest that I have left school all week. I also realized one more thing: I'm quite sleepy. I put a lot into this first week of school. Maybe more hours than I should have... then again, I don't regret it one bit--the year started as well as it could have, and now as my students start up on projects, my day-to-day prep eases significantly.
As I reflected on both my satisfaction with the past week and also my current state of weariness, I could not help but think of several old hymns that my dad would sing to me (and my siblings) while tucking us into bed when we were little. These songs provided me with immense comfort then, and tonight they served as a reminder that God is in control, even when we are exhausted at the end of the day. Naturally, I began to sing the songs out loud as I biked down the river, drawing stares from the several old folk who were out walking. Here are the words--may they be as much of an end-of-the-day blessing to you as they were/are to me:
"Now the Day is Over" by Sabine Baring-Gould
"The Day you Gave us, LORD, has ended" by John Ellerton
like earth's proud kingdoms, pass away.
Your kingdom stands and grows forever,
until there dawns your glorious day.
As I reflected on both my satisfaction with the past week and also my current state of weariness, I could not help but think of several old hymns that my dad would sing to me (and my siblings) while tucking us into bed when we were little. These songs provided me with immense comfort then, and tonight they served as a reminder that God is in control, even when we are exhausted at the end of the day. Naturally, I began to sing the songs out loud as I biked down the river, drawing stares from the several old folk who were out walking. Here are the words--may they be as much of an end-of-the-day blessing to you as they were/are to me:
"Now the Day is Over" by Sabine Baring-Gould
1. Now the day is over,
Night is drawing nigh;
Shadows of the evening
Steal across the sky.
2. Jesus, give the weary
Calm and sweet repose;
With Thy tend'rest blessing
May mine eyelids close.
3. Grant to little children
Visions bright of Thee;
Guard the sailors tossing
On the deep-blue sea.
4. Comfort every sufferer
Watching late in pain;
Those who plan some evil
From their sin restrain.
5. When the morning wakens,
Then may we arise
Pure and fresh and sinless
In Thy holy eyes.
"Abide with Me" by Henry F. Lyte
- Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me. - Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see—
O Thou who changest not, abide with me. - I need Thy presence every passing hour;
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me. - I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me. - Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies;
Heav’n’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
"The Day you Gave us, LORD, has ended" by John Ellerton
1 The day you gave us, Lord, is ended,
the darkness falls at your request.
To you our morning hymns ascended;
your praise shall sanctify our rest.
2 We thank you that your church, unsleeping
while earth rolls onward into light,
through all the world her watch is keeping,
and never rests by day or night.
3 As over continent and island
each dawn leads to another day,
the voice of prayer is never silent,
nor do the praises die away.
like earth's proud kingdoms, pass away.
Your kingdom stands and grows forever,
until there dawns your glorious day.
"Gift of Finest Wheat" by Robert E. Kreutz
Chorus
You satisfy the hungry heart with gift of finest wheat,
Come give to us, O saving Lord, the bread of life to eat.
1.As when the shepherd calls his sheep,
They know and heed his voice;
So when You call Your family, Lord,
We follow and rejoice.
Chorus
2.With joyful lips we sing to You,
Our praise and gratitude,
That You should count us worthy Lord,
To share this heavenly food.
Chorus
3. The mystery of Your presence Lord,
No mortal tongue can tell;
Whom all the world cannot contain
Comes in our hearts to dwell.
Chorus
4. You give yourself to us, O Lord,
Then selfless let us be,
To serve each other in Your name
In truth and charity.
What I am doing in Japan
A few Sundays ago, as I was visiting a church downtown for the first time, someone asked "what are you doing in Japan?" What am I doing, indeed! Traditionally, whenever I've been asked this question, I have the tendency to feel a little embarrassed by the fact that I'm not planting churches, working for a relief organization, or directly relating to my Japanese neighbors on a day-to-day basis. Somehow, letting people know that I teach at a Christian international school always seemed anti-climactic, a bit disappointing.
I may not be doing any of the cool stuff that I listed above (actions that are often associated with the title of "missionary") but I am increasingly realizing that I, too, have a mission here, and that I can serve Japan in what I do.
I'm a teacher. I work with a wide variety of kids. Some are MKs who need guidance to know how to take ownership of their faith and possibly even embrace their parents' calling as their own. Some are Christians who have grown up in Japan, but have always focused their energy and attention inward, at themselves, or perhaps at their classmates. Some are not even Christian, and are either hostile or (perhaps worse) apathetic to the Christian faith. My responsibility is to strive to live a Godly life as these kids' teacher, and to try and equip them to engage the world around them--to challenge, to serve, to love their neighbors and surrounding culture.
Change in Japan will start with the younger generations, and the effects will spread upwards over time, slowly but surely. To reach the younger generations here, I must encourage the young people who I see in my classroom each day. They are in the best position to reach out to Japanese young people--chatting with them at the eki, playing with and against them in sports, inviting them to HiBA and even just living in such a way that the young people of this country take notice. Most of my students even speak Japanese (granted, some more fluently than others), so language should not be a barrier to the development of these relationships. Yet, oftentimes, there's a large gulf between our young people at CAJ and the young people of the broader Japanese community.
I want my students to know that they are players on the stage of history and active participants in the story of the world--I want to reinforce this time and again with examples from history and literature. Ultimately, I want my students to leave the halls of CAJ and put into practice what they've learned, taking this responsibility to the world and to each other seriously. I'm there to help my students, to support them, to challenge them and to create so many opportunities for practice. This is my mission... it's a beautiful mission and I am so grateful that this is what God has called me to.
I may not be doing any of the cool stuff that I listed above (actions that are often associated with the title of "missionary") but I am increasingly realizing that I, too, have a mission here, and that I can serve Japan in what I do.
I'm a teacher. I work with a wide variety of kids. Some are MKs who need guidance to know how to take ownership of their faith and possibly even embrace their parents' calling as their own. Some are Christians who have grown up in Japan, but have always focused their energy and attention inward, at themselves, or perhaps at their classmates. Some are not even Christian, and are either hostile or (perhaps worse) apathetic to the Christian faith. My responsibility is to strive to live a Godly life as these kids' teacher, and to try and equip them to engage the world around them--to challenge, to serve, to love their neighbors and surrounding culture.
Change in Japan will start with the younger generations, and the effects will spread upwards over time, slowly but surely. To reach the younger generations here, I must encourage the young people who I see in my classroom each day. They are in the best position to reach out to Japanese young people--chatting with them at the eki, playing with and against them in sports, inviting them to HiBA and even just living in such a way that the young people of this country take notice. Most of my students even speak Japanese (granted, some more fluently than others), so language should not be a barrier to the development of these relationships. Yet, oftentimes, there's a large gulf between our young people at CAJ and the young people of the broader Japanese community.
I want my students to know that they are players on the stage of history and active participants in the story of the world--I want to reinforce this time and again with examples from history and literature. Ultimately, I want my students to leave the halls of CAJ and put into practice what they've learned, taking this responsibility to the world and to each other seriously. I'm there to help my students, to support them, to challenge them and to create so many opportunities for practice. This is my mission... it's a beautiful mission and I am so grateful that this is what God has called me to.
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