Decisions

On the first day of class,
I told my students that life is all about
decisions.

We may not
wind up
in the history books,
but what do
the history books know
anyway?

Our choices have consequences
which thereby open up a new set of choices,
and once the new choice is made, a new
set of consequences emerges
and so on,
and so on.

I used an example from college,
where I chose not to ask out
a girl who I liked,
a close friend of mine,
shortly after she broke
up with her boyfriend,
who was kind of
a jerk.

I think I made
the sensitive choice.
I'm a nice guy,
proud of it
(but not too proud, of course),
and yet it hurt to see
her get back together with
her boyfriend
a month later.

It's easy to ask
"what if"
or
"what might have been?"

"What if I had chosen
a different college?"

"What if I had made better
choices of friends during
my freshmen year
in the dorms?"

"What if I had kept
journalism
as my major?"

"What if I'd listened to my friends
and asked her out?"

Choices beget consequences,
beget choices, beget consequences...
I wouldn't be who I am
today and aside from
the occasional bout with
discontentment,
I'm happy with
who I am.

Now,
I am faced with so many choices
in my life
today
and the "what ifs"
are not borne of regret as I look back
but of curiosity as I look ahead.

How we deal with
the consequences of
our choices
makes us who we are,
and affects how
we'll make future choices.

As I stand at each new crossroad,
I cannot help
but wonder
which choice
will yield the consequences
that will form
me into the man
I want
to be?

LORD,
Grant me
wisdom
and
boldness.