I crave friendship... I'd do anything to have a group of friends who share both my sense of humor, and my faith as well; that is, people who I can laugh and have a good time with, but also pray and worship with. I've thought a lot about friendship lately and realized that I bond with others through laughter. For some reason, I can connect deeply with people who appreciate and share my humor. I need to be able to laugh with someone, to find the same things funny, and to possess the ability to make them laugh in order to forge a deeper friendship. I'm not sure why that is--it's not like my friendships that have started from that place are based on humor or are superficial; on the contrary, those friendships always seem strong, solid and healthy, capable of interacting outside of the context of jokes and comedy just as naturally as within it. I want this again.
I hate being lonely. I hate not really having a clear idea of what to do about it.
And I hate reading about your pain, knowing that you're just down the road...can we help you?
ReplyDeleteI think it's one of those struggles unique to young, single teachers in this community--any other young singles are impermanent and the group of friends I had last year has evaporated over the course of this year as several prepare to leave. Additionally, I'm separated by language and cultural barriers from the many young people my age who live around here. I always appreciate the thoughts, prayers and company of my senpai (most other teachers), but ultimately what I need to do is to be strong in riding out the goodbyes, be persistent in learning the language, and be intentional in seeking out new opportunities for friendship, perhaps by getting more involved in my church community.
ReplyDeleteLoneliness isn't unique to the young singles. Many foreigners in Japan are lonely. I had an experienced married missionary in Chiba tell me she was intensely lonely. I've been plenty lonely in this land myself as a married mum.
ReplyDeleteBut you are right about being intentional. My first job out of uni was in an Australian country town. Plenty of cultural barriers there. Most people my age were not university educated. Many were married or very young parents. Most my age socialised at the pub. It was very tough, but I made some lifelong friends with some people in the little church who were older than me, and in a different life stage to me. One thing I did was tried to quit feeling sorry for myself and I tried to do odd things, like invite a family of 6 to my little apartment for dinner (this is just an example, by the way).
I look back at that time as a something of a spiritual training time for Japan. You don't know what God is preparing you for, but sink yourself deep in him, he will never leave you.
Thanks for the encouragement, Wendy; I am thankful for the wisdom of both David and yourself.
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