If life is made up of peaks and valleys, my 30th birthday came very near a peak. I’d been happily married for just over two years, I was in the process of finishing my Master’s thesis, I’d just had an article published in the Christian Educator’s Journal, I was thriving in a new position of departmental leadership at work, and only a few months later, Tomomi and I would learn that we were expecting our daughter.
I looked back in gratitude at the winding path of my 20s that had led me to that moment, and ahead in anticipation toward my 30s. Now, I am preparing to leave my 30s–and young adulthood–behind.
My 30s were wonderful in so many respects: I welcomed a daughter, then a son, and the past decade has been defined in so many ways by fatherhood. I’ve celebrated 12 years of marriage. I’ve had the opportunity to live a one-minute drive down the road from my parents with my family after more than a decade living an ocean away. I’ve helped to start a new high school, building curriculum and program, leading staff professional development, and watching the HS enrollment grow from 5 to more than 40. I have pushed myself–and grown–professionally in ways I could never have imagined in my 20s. I’ve run nearly 2000 miles. I’ve played at least four D&D campaigns with friends. I’ve read through Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere novels.
My 30s have also been difficult. Within two years of turning 30, I had developed lactose intolerance, year-round allergies, caffeine intolerance, and asthma. My list of favorite things has changed dramatically since my 30th birthday: no more coffee; no more pizza; no more ice cream. A growing family meant financial stress, and the combination of chronic allergies and intolerances plus financial stressors meant long seasons of anxiety on a scale I’d never dealt with before. One of the hardest seasons of my life came when Tomomi was hospitalized for 10 days with debilitating morning sickness when we were expecting our son, and at the same time, I got an infected bug-bite on my leg. The only thing that carried me through those days of trying to care for my then-2-year-old daughter while hours away from our closest family and while dealing with intense itching and pain of my own, while also visiting Tomomi at the hospital where her arms were swollen and purple from needing to change IV placement so often, was the trust that God was in control even if I couldn’t see Him at the moment, and that “this, too, would pass”. And pass, it did, though COVID broke out not long after, preventing us from visiting the U.S., traveling much within Japan, and even attending church in person for two full years. Moving also brought difficulties in the form of a long, expensive, and complex immigration process, and the reality of leaving friends, family, and home behind in Japan (even as we reunited with friends, family, and home in the US) In many ways, I feel like the second half of my 30s has been about recovering from the first half of my 30s, and simply put, I just don’t recover as quickly as I did in my 20s.
I am under no illusion that my 30s were the hardest moments of my life; only the hardest moments to date. Even in the midst of difficulty and stress, God preserved me, He preserved my family, and He preserved my friends. I know the “back 40” of my life is going to be characterized by loss more than the first half. I believe that my 30s have equipped me to face the hard moments to come with patience, grace, and trust, and the joyful moments with gratitude. It was not always easy. In fact, it was rarely easy. And 40 looms differently than 30 or 20 did. But I trust my LORD and Savior; I know He has prepared me for this milestone, and I know that He alone is my rock and my Salvation.
In ten years, when I write about turning 50 (which I can hardly fathom since my parents were in their 50s when I moved to Japan!), I do not know what the specifics of that blog-post will be, but I see the pattern laid out before me, and I know that even then, I will rejoice in the faithfulness of the LORD!
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