Wilderness Camp, Days 3-4

Day 3: Thursday, October 6

I'm not sure what time the rain stopped. The reason I'm not sure is because the dripping sounds continued even after the rain had ceased, and I almost certainly mistook this sound for rain whenever I woke up and turned over in my sleeping bag. It wasn't until I actually poked my head outside the gazebo just after 5 am that I realized the dripping sounds were coming from the trees and that the rain itself had stopped.

In fact, the first sight that greeted me was a ray of sunlight shining down between trees in the woods nearby. This would have been a beautiful sight on any morning, but it was so desired, so welcome on this morning that the sunlight seemed even more vibrant--truly a gift from God.

Everyone woke with high spirits that morning upon seeing the sunlight and realizing that the rain had stopped. We ate a cheerful breakfast and started hiking just after 8. The leaders set a brisk pace through the woods, but everyone kept the pace. Everyone was genki! At one point, we came to a ridge atop a rather steep slope and noticed that we had two options: Option #1 involved following the trees with white ribbons tied around the trunks, a gradual decline that looped around the ridge in a downward spiral. Option #2 involved following the blue ribbons, a sharp decline that seemed to dive right over the edge of the ridge and straight down the steep slope. The leaders polled the team and everyone seemed to be in favor of option #2. I looked at Kelsey and she shrugged. "Just be careful," she advised the kids as the team began filing down the slope.

I am not sure how much time we saved by taking the blue path, or if we actually saved any time: sure, it was a direct route down the mountainside, but by nature of the decline, we had to take it slow with lots of stops and starts. Whether or not it saved us time, it certainly added to the feeling of high adventure! We would half shuffle/half slide down the slope for 5-10 feet, stop against a tree trunk to steady ourselves and regain our balance before shuffling/sliding down to the next tree. We repeated this process over and over, hopping from tree to tree until finally we came to one last steep slope with our desired path running along the very bottom. Some kids bounded down this slope, some slid on their butts and some surfed with the loose dirt acting as a wave. We all arrived back on the path safely, though our hiking shoes were perhaps twice as dirty as they were when we'd started on the blue path.

A short while later, we arrived at a paved road, the first sign of civilization that we had seen since the first day. It was here that I received my worst (and only) injury of the trip as I skidded on a slick bit of pavement in a tunnel, and skinned my knee. Lame, lame, lame. I guess I should be thankful that I didn't take a spill on a steep mountain path, but if you're going to skin your knee while hiking, it's embarrassing to have it happen on a concrete sidewalk at the base of the mountain :P

We ate lunch near the Tama River and enjoyed a chance to soak up some sunlight and skip stones in the water. At this point, we were only 15 minutes or so from Okutama Bible Chalet, our final destination. However, we still had one more day of hiking, and so would be venturing into the hills on the other side of the river before ending at OBC.

In choosing our route the week before, we'd been told that at this point in the route, we'd have the choice of hiking or taking a cable car. When we informed the leaders for the day of the option, they quickly decided to take the cable car. This was a good choice, since we needed to get to our campsite as early as possible for the day's activity and despite our brisk pace in the morning, we were running late. The road up to the cable car was, in my own opinion, the most physically challenging part of the hike. I can handle the steep trails in the woods--the trails that feel more like a scramble than a hike--those are fine. However, the road up to the cable car was a kilometer straight of 15% incline. Unrelenting, constant, concrete uphill marching. The only point in the entire trip where I felt physically winded was at the very end of this stretch. We took the cable car up to Mitake-san--the ride took less than 10 minutes and saved us perhaps an hour of hiking.

The view from Mitake-san was incredible! Unfortunately, this was the point (really the only point) in the trip where I was somewhat disappointed with the kids (well, a few anyway). One of the leaders for the day was feeling hungry. It's Wilderness Camp... one can be forgiven feeling a certain level of hunger the whole time. That said--we'd had bigger portions of food than we did the year before, and we even had an extra set of snacks with us at that point due to not having taken a snack break during the rainy day before. Point being, we were still well-supplied for food. Anyway, this particular individual was in possession of the team wallet which was supposed to be for transportation expenses (such as the train, the bus and the cable car). When we got to the look-out at Mitake-san, there were small shops and places to buy food. The temptation was too much--this leader bought food for herself and several of her teammates using the transportation funds (about half of the team refused to let her buy them food, not wanting to compromise their Wilderness Camp experience). Though my co-leader and I reminded the team that we did in fact have extra snacks, the lure of the mountain-top shops was too great.

I'll admit I was a bit annoyed. I didn't show it at the time, not wanting to pull down the team's morale, but I felt like it was a selfish decision. However, I've since had time to think about it and I realized that there have been countless times in my own life where I've made selfish, bad decisions or given in to one temptation or another. The only person who has ever avoided temptation and selfishness completely was Christ himself... if I'd been in the desert for that long and someone offered me bread, I'd probably have taken it in a heart-beat--I'm that weak. What was the lesson for the day, anyway... integrity in leaders? What right did I have to be angry, having so many times failed tests of integrity myself? So, ultimately, I could forgive the bad choice... I do think that in future years, I'll need to make a point ahead of time to clarify in no uncertain terms that the money should only be for transportation, and that buying food simply isn't even an option. I believe in giving the kids decision-making power and leadership, but I also think that freedom involves some clear boundaries (no giving up, for example).

We arrived at our campsite, 日の出山 (Hinodeyama), at a few minutes till 4. The guy in the front of the pack scaled the final set of stairs quickly and moments after he disappeared from our line of vision, we heard what sounded like a bunch of people shouting for joy. It took maybe 2 seconds for us to recognize the familiar voices of another group of Juniors coming from the mountaintop. The kids in my group sprinted up the stairs with their packs still on and what followed was about 10 minutes of hugs, excited chatter and earnest "I missed you"s: truly a joyful reunion, and you'd have thought that these kids hadn't seen each other in years (as opposed to 3 days). Turns out the group at the top had camped out at the campsite we were now approaching the night before (after hiking late in the rain), slept in, done their activity for the day and were now finishing their debrief and getting ready to leave.

As we said our goodbyes to Team Wolfpack, as they called themselves (complete with a "team howl"), we had a chance to survey our surroundings. Without a doubt, this was the most beautiful place that we'd stayed on the entire trip: To the north, west and south, we had a view of the mountains and to the east, we had a panoramic view of Tokyo.

I gathered the kids and introduced our activity for the day: They would spread out and spend an extended period of time on their own. They could journal, read their Bibles/a laminated sheet of verses and quotes about integrity that had been prepared for them, and simply sit and think. I introduced the activity by reminding the kids that in today's society, they rarely have an opportunity to simply be by themselves--that even while they are alone, they're not really alone because they are plugged in to the outside world and their friends via the Internet and their phones. The kids accepted the challenge and spent several hours by themselves.

While they were doing their solo-time, Kelsey and I set up fly sheets around the gazebo and prepared our final dinner of the trip: Macaroni with tuna. The sun set and we were treated to a beautiful view of the Tokyo city-lights. This was the first thing that the kids noticed when we called them back in, too, and if the kids had been anxious or upset about spending time alone, those feelings evaporated as soon as they saw the view. Several kids even asked if they could keep the laminated sheets we'd given them, and after dinner (which we ate sitting on benches outside the gazebo, facing the city) we had a powerful debrief time. The kids talked about learning how much they took for granted in their lives, and appreciating the chance to sit and reflect on their lives. One girl even expressed gratitude for the rain from the previous day, as it had caused her to appreciate the sunny weather and beautiful views of this day even more. Several kids started to make plans to come back to Hinode later in the year to camp out for just a night, and one girl remarked that she wanted to take her own kids up to see this view someday.

Several of the kids settled down for the night outside, as the stars started to come out at about 9 pm. They went to bed happy and well-fed, feeling enriched and blessed by the day's experiences. It was a good day.


Day 4: Friday, October 7

I'll be brief with this final entry. The activity for the final day involved Kelsey and I leaving early, and the kids hiking the last leg of our journey on their own (I should note that we'd informed the days leaders about this the previous night). Of course, we weren't going to ditch the kids completely--we would hide out on a ridge just below the campsite, wait till the kids moved out and follow them at a safe distance. I woke up to find that a few of the kids were already awake, watching the stars and the city-lights, so we couldn't make a completely clean getaway. At the very least, all the kids thought that we'd truly left, and didn't realize that we were staying behind to follow them.

The name of the game for the next stretch of time was patience: waiting for all of the kids to wake up, waiting for them to eat breakfast, waiting for them to pack up... all of this took about two hours. Fortunately, we had a beautiful view of the sunrise from the ledge we were on--we also think we saw a flying squirrel just before sunrise! We saw something scale a tree just in front of us and moments later, a dark shadowy mass leaped from the tree and sailed down into the woods below.

At just before 7, we heard the kids moving down the trail. We went up to the campsite, picked up a few things that had been left behind (including my jacket, which had been hidden under someone's sleeping bag) and set out down the trail after the kids. The hike down to OBC took exactly 2 hours, to the minute. The most excitement came at a point when the kids left the road to take what they thought was a shortcut (several of the kids had worked at OBC during the summer and remembered that it was possible to hike up to a cell tower from behind the camp complex). Turns out it was the wrong cell tower--still it made for a fun detour, as the kids had to drop a good 10 feet from the woods down a bank to get back onto the main road. This involved dropping their packs, a few of which hit the ground with a large crash that initially startled Kelsey and myself ("What on EARTH are they doing?!" we wondered). In the time it took Kelsey and I to climb down the bank to the road below, the kids got a head-start that we never recovered.

The rest of the hike was spent along paved roads (for most of the time, just one long, winding mountain road) and though there were spots on the road where it doubled around and we could see nearly half a mile ahead, we never saw the kids in the distance. We worried that they might've tried another off-road shortcut and that we were way ahead of them (we weren't exactly taking it slow down the mountain), but it turns out they'd just been moving really, really fast. When I think about how fast of a pace Kelsey and I were setting, I can't help but wonder if the kids were almost jogging down the road. Between this point and the end, the only detail worth noting was the random crab that we found scuttling along the road, still a good distance from the base of the mountain. Very odd seeing a crab out of the context of the water-side...

We reached OBC at 9:00 am, just 6 minutes after the kids. We unpacked our bags, reunited with the other teams (we were the third team to arrive), and then hit the ofuro. After we'd cleaned up (which is a GREAT feeling after days of not showering), we debriefed one last time. The kids all agreed that this was a powerful and meaningful experience for them, despite the fact that it had been tough and stressful at times. As I listened to the kids share what they learned over the past few days and how they thought it would impact their everyday lives, it reinforced in my mind just what a positive and important learning experience wilderness camp truly is. We closed our meeting in prayer, dedicating the trip to God and thanking Him for the beauty we'd gotten to see and be a part of, and then went our separate ways. I returned home sore, exhausted and hungry, and it has taken me a few days to recover... however, I do not regret going for even a second. As long as I am at CAJ, I'll go on Wilderness Camp. I'm glad to be back in civilization, and definitely glad to be sleeping in my own bed again, but a small part of me is already counting down the days until next October, when I will have the opportunity to head out into the woods once again...

Wilderness Camp, Day 2

A little bit of background first: When I went on Wilderness Camp last year, it rained for perhaps an hour and a half on the very first day as we started hiking. When I say rain, I mean sprinkling lightly. The rest of the trip was sunny and clear--beautiful weather and a total rarity for Wilderness Camp (two years ago, a typhoon forced groups to return from the mountains a day early). I sensed that we'd been blessed with unusually good weather, that we were lucky. This year, I found out just how lucky we were on...

Day 2: Wednesday, Oct. 5

The rain started at about 4 in the morning--I awoke to the first drops splatting against the taut plastic of the fly sheet above me. Early in the day, the rain wasn't bad--it was light, barely more than a mist. Moreover, the fly sheets had done their jobs and kept all of us and our sleeping bags dry. It took a while for everyone to wake up, and I was impressed at the ability of the kids to sleep in, even on a cold, rainy morning in the middle of the woods. When we'd finally packed up, eaten breakfast and put on our rain-gear, we wondered just how long the rain would last.

The leaders for the day were fairly careful in checking the map, responding to the advice of the previous day's leaders during the debrief the night before. We started hiking just before 9, and it took us well over an hour to reach the peak at 969m, where we'd intended to camp the night before. Although this had been a beautiful campsite last year, it was horribly muddy and the panoramic view of the surrounding mountains was totally obscured by the fog. As we took a break sitting in the gazebo that my group had slept in last year, it occurred to me that we would have been less protected from the rain had we camped out here, and would likely have started the day wet and miserable. We may not have camped out at the place we intended the previous night, but as I told the leaders, it had turned out to be the right place for us.

The rest of the day had its share of ups and downs and I mean that both in the literal and figurative senses of the expression: we would descend one peak only to scale another. Steep uphills followed by steep downhills. It was the same exact hike that my group had done last year, but it seemed so much longer, so much more tedious this year. The hiking was exhausting, not only because of the physical challenge, but also because of the extreme mental energy that we had to invest in not slipping on the muddy paths and wet roots and rocks. So, while we moved, we tired easily. Breaks provided little respite--when we stopped moving, we chilled easily, as the torrential rain continued to drive down upon us harder and harder as the day wore on.

I recalled a particularly steep and beautiful mountain ridge from the previous year and to encourage the kids, informed them that we weren't far off from the ridge, and that the campsite the leaders had chosen wasn't far beyond that. Big mistake. You see, my memory was of a leisurely hike on a sunny day, and the whole thing had seemed so much faster. What I thought would take 10 minutes wound up taking over an hour, and I am sure the kids tired of hearing me predict "it's just ahead" every time we came to a steep uphill climb.

We finally reached our campsite in the mid-afternoon. Soaked, exhausted, sore... It was at this point that I was particularly proud of the kids because despite the miserable conditions, there was little complaining. One guy said during dinner that he wished he'd ditched Wilderness Camp, and that he'd go home early if he could. However, nobody else took the bait, and even he adopted a stoic attitude. Even in the toughest moments of the trip, with two more days to go, the kids remembered and held to their contract. Over dinner, we distracted ourselves from the cold and damp by sharing both scary and funny stories. We debriefed over hot cocoa, and talked about the importance of follower-ship in becoming a servant-leader. The kids talked extensively about the need for trust between a leader and a follower and connected this back to their own experience as a class at school, and their class' tendency to mistrust teachers. In my Humanities and English classes several weeks before, this question of respect for teachers had come up in an open-forum discussion about class identity and that evening during our debrief, the discussion received the follow-up it deserved. The kids identified the need to trust the leaders in their life as crucial--just as they had needed to watch the footsteps and trust the person immediately ahead of them on the slippery trails earlier in the day. We also talked about the importance of dialogue with the leader, helping them to improve in their ability to lead through constructive criticism as opposed to complaints and wondered together how the students could apply this lesson to dealing with teachers who they did not trust.

As we settled down for the night, we all prayed fervently for the rain to clear up (though the forecast had predicted rain for Thursday as well). It was a tough day, but a character-building day.

Wilderness Camp, Day 1

One of the most pivotal events in the school-careers of CAJ students actually takes place outside of the classroom: this event is Wilderness Camp, a four-day hiking and camping trip in the mountains just west of the city. Wilderness Camp, formerly known as "Stress Camp" (and still referred to by this name by many students, staff and community members), has been a part of the Junior year since the 1980s.

In its earliest days, the purpose of the trip was as simple as the name: to totally stress out the students so that they could learn about how they respond to stressful situations. The trip took place in August, just prior to the school year, and involved primarily bush-whacking through some very hot and humid days, and sleeping on the ground during some equally hot and humid nights (or not sleeping, as the case might have been).

As the years went on, the trip became slightly more organized: the trip was moved to the first week of October as a part of CAJ's SWOW (School Without Walls) program. The adult leaders began to choose routes ahead of time--real trails--and the bush-whacking stopped. Leaders also began to seek out small shelters, shacks and gazebos: moderately more comfortable places to rest for the night.

In recent years, the trip has been restructured and reoriented around a curriculum of leadership training. The adult leaders still choose the routes ahead of time, but during the hike, serve a supervisory capacity. The majority of the decision-making involved in the trip falls onto the shoulders of the Juniors themselves, who pair up and take turns being the team leaders (in either half or full day shifts). They decide which way to get from point A to point B, what kind of pace to set, when/where to take breaks and eat, who should carry what supplies and even where to camp for the night. The adult leaders may advise the team leaders, but the decisions are ultimately up to the kids. A series of activities and group discussion prompts supplement this curriculum, and as the team debriefs each night, they connect their experiences in making decisions on the trails to servant-leadership, follower-ship and integrity as seen in the inspiring though flawed example of King David and the perfect example of Jesus Christ.

The intent is no longer to stress the students out: the fact is, the simple act of heading out into the woods for four days carries enough stress of its own without the adults trying to pile even more on. It has been my privilege to join the Juniors on this trip for two years now. Over the next few days, I will be writing about my experience from this year in 1-2 day installments. It'll be a long read, but I figure if you've read to this point, you're in it for the long haul. Gambatte!


Day 1: Tuesday, 10/4
Team Spice. This was the name that the kids had come up with during homeroom on Monday after hearing Mr. Potter mention the curry meal that they would be fed on Friday after they finished the hike at Okutama Bible Chalet. Together, we drew up a poster that served as a team contract: what characteristics we wanted to develop as a team, what roles each member would serve, and what negative things we didn't want (attitudes and behaviors that would ruin the experience for everyone). We decided that encouragement (or "encurryagement") should be a foundation of our team and that we should avoid complaining. Definitely a lot easier to say on paper before an experience like this, but it was very cool to watch the kids take ownership of the contract and come up with these initiatives themselves.

Our leaders for the day were responsible for getting us out to Sawarabinoyu, where we'd start our hike. On Monday evening, they emailed the team saying that we would need to meet at school at 9:20 to finish packing food, and then try to catch a 9:45 train to Hanno, where we would catch a bus to Sawarabinoyu. Their goal was to start hiking before noon. Unfortunately, we were slightly late in getting to the station, missed the 9:45 train, and after catching a later train, missed our bus in Hanno. We arrived in Hanno at about 10:30, and the next bus was scheduled to depart at 12:30. So, we improvised: after consulting with the leaders, my co-leader Kelsey and I decided to have the kids do the first day's activity right away while we waited. This was a Mondrian puzzle--an exercise involving putting together notched pieces of wood in a particular pattern. Since the exercise was designed to highlight the importance of vision, we allowed the kids to struggle blindly without any instructions or idea of what the completed puzzle should look like for a while before giving one member of the team a photo of the finished product. Several group members had a chance to hold the photo, each with a particular limitation--one was not allowed to speak, one was only allowed to answer yes or no questions, etc. After they completed the puzzle (which they did fairly quickly, despite the limitations placed on the members with the photo), we had the first of many solid debriefing sessions as a team, talking about the value of knowing what's ahead, what goal we are working towards.

After that, we ate lunch, filled our water, and waited... and waited... by the time our bus arrived, we were all ready to start moving. We began hiking early in the afternoon and everyone was eager and enthusiastic. We started with a hike that I'd done last year--a scenic climb up a waterfall. It felt like something from Lord of the Rings, as we crossed over stepping stones, logs, and foot-bridges, zig-zagging back and forth across the stream as we ascended. The kids had been skeptical at first: the guy in the front of the pack arrived at the foot of the waterfall and said, "The path stops here; there's no way to go on!" In the end, they enjoyed this first leg of the journey and felt a sense of accomplishment and adventure as we took our first long break in a gazebo at the top of the falls.

This, unfortunately, was where we made our first major mistake. You see, though I'd hiked this particular route last year, my co-leader had been much more experienced than I, and I never looked at the map once while we were hiking. She'd taken care of everything--had been the kids' safety net in case they chose the wrong path. So, when the leaders pointed to the map and said, "We should go down the road to the left", I said, "Let's do it!" I wasn't playing dumb--I legitimately thought they'd made the right choice.


Only after about half an hour down the road did I realize that nothing was familiar--clearly this was not the path we'd taken last year. "Okay", I thought, "There's other ways to get to our campsite. This is just a scenic route." And scenic it was! The road wound higher and higher and we were given front row seats to a spectacular sunset view of the forests below us. Eventually, we found a trail leading off the road, and the leaders, following the compass, took us up into the woods. After a steep scramble up a wooded hillside ("All right, Team Spice, let's beast this one!" was a common refrain), we reached a sign that told us we were at 945 meters elevation. We needed to be on a peak at 969m. At this point, the sun had nearly set and it was rather dark where we were standing. The leaders consulted the map, and determined that we needed to continue to the west to reach 969. I glanced over their shoulders at the map and silently agreed with their decision. So, we continued to hike west.

Unfortunately, in our haste and in the shadows, we'd misread the map. The leaders had thought we were on a different hilltop to the east of our destination and so had I. Instead, we were already about a kilometer to the west. So, we started hiking in the complete opposite direction of where we needed to go, a fact that we were unable to ascertain until we set up camp well after dark. The hiking was treacherous--pitch black, save for our flashlights; twisty, narrow, root-filled trails; a sheer drop-off to our left. The adult leaders are supposed to keep the kids safe, and so I was starting to look for any potential place to camp. Fortunately, the kids had the good sense to recognize the risk of continuing on, and decided unanimously to take the first mountain-top path that they found. We set up camp at 958m, at which point we discovered by checking our map, that we were several kilometers off from where we needed to be. The leaders felt awful and so did I. I tried to reassure them that I had made the exact same map-reading mistakes as they had, but I don't know how comforting that was (when an adult leader admits ignorance, then where's the safety net?? Still, I feel like they needed to know that anyone could make the same mistake.).

Fortunately, 958 was a good hill-top for camping, and we set up fly-sheets and ground sheets on relatively flat and pine-needle-cushioned ground in anticipation of the rain that had been forecast for Wednesday. We collected wood and started a fire for dinner. We enjoyed a meal of stroganoff and ham. Kelsey and I also prepared baked apples (cores removed, filled with butter and cinnamon-sugar, wrapped in tinfoil and placed in the embers) for dessert. We discussed our day and connected the importance of vision and goals to the idea of knowing how to reach a destination and making careful decisions. We also began to talk about what it means to be a servant leader, and the kids connected Christ's life and ministry to the need to support every member of the group, to encourage and to listen. So, we settled down for the night after a late start, a longer day of hiking than any of us expected and in a different campsite than we had planned... but we were content. It was a good day.

Can I Just Brag for a Sec?

I'm so proud of my middle school runners, and cannot help but brag on them. Actually, the bragging rights really aren't mine--their success is not so much my coaching as it is their God-given talents and hard work. I'm just thankful to have been a part of their growth as runners. Today, we returned to Tama Hills after 3 weeks away. After being sick for a few days last week and hiking with the Juniors this past week, it had been close to 10 days since I'd worked with my kids and I truly missed them. It was a joy for me to cheer them on today, and watch as each and every one of them ran their best race ever. Here's how they did:

The boys, out of a total of 79 runners:

27th place: Kenji J. (7th grade): 14:49 (a PR of 35 seconds)
38th place: Callum M. (7th grade): 15:48 (a PR of 4 seconds)
39th place: Isaiah S. (8th grade): 15:53 (a PR of 39 seconds)
50th place: Ryu K. (7th grade): 16:36 (a PR of 75 seconds)
59th place: David B. (7th grade): 16:53 (a PR of 85 seconds)
71st place: Jeremiah S. (6th grade): 18:23 (a PR of 2:55)


The girls, out of a total of 72 runners:

12th place: HaEun K. (6th grade): 16:03 (a PR of 65 seconds)
41st place: Angela L. (6th grade): 17:42 (a PR of 72 seconds)

We have one more meet left in the season. Regardless of how these kids do next week, they have much to be proud of. The improvement that they've experienced this season is abundantly clear in the times that they've run, and I will do everything that I can to make sure the kids know just how well they are doing. Doxa and Godspeed!

A Prayer Before Wilderness Camp

Father God,
Grant us the wisdom to make good decisions,
the patience to bear with one another even when we're soaked with rain, sore and exhausted, and
the optimism to find the good and the humor in every trial we face as a team.

Grant us protection as we scale steep paths, tread narrow trails, and venture through slick and muddy stretches.

Grant us the grace to deal with the rain cheerfully (or at least with the minimum amount of grumbling).

May we learn to lead through service, learn about ourselves through selflessness, and learn to love each other as you loved.

May we see you over the next four days--see your fingerprints in the beauty of your creation and see your character reflected in one another as we encourage and support one another, and work together.

Amen.

The view from our second campsite from last year
(which I've affectionately named '969' because it's
at 969m) at sunrise...

Proverbs 31:30

After our talk last week about the ideal age to get married, the Juniors have been discussing this question at length on our online forum. It's truly interesting to see what different kids think, whether based on their parents' experience, their current relationship status, or perhaps their perception of what love is (sometimes clearly influenced by Hollywood).

I threw in my two cents, saying that at 25, I know people my age who are basically just big kids and also people who have essentially been mature adults for 5 years or more (sometimes happily married and with kids). Me? I'm somewhere between the two, I guess.

This all got me thinking... just what is important to look for in a significant other?

When I was in high school, my one criteria was simply "does she acknowledge my existence?" I'd fall head over heels based on little more prompting than eye contact and a smile. This inevitably led to some awkward and painful reality checks, when I realized that I'd put so much energy into a crush on someone who was merely being friendly. Though I was totally oblivious at the time, I've since been informed that I, myself, disappointed a few girls who mistook my friendliness for interest.

Fortunately, we grow... though high school crushes (check that--crushes at any time of life) can be painful and exhausting, we learn a lot about ourselves and what exactly we're looking for in another person. Why am I single today? It's more or less my choice--I'm still searching and waiting for the right person.

Who is the right person?

Well. I could go through the checklist of characteristics and interests that I built up in my mind during college, but ultimately, none of that matters. Minutiae. Yeah, it'd be great if she has a good singing voice and if she appreciates animals, but those are just trivial details in the scheme of things. Here's what does matter:

Faith. It's as simple as this: The most important relationship in her life needs to be her relationship with Jesus. A solid marriage is much more difficult to maintain if the center is something fleeting, something temporary or elusive. Financial security? Jobs? Even your own spouse? All of these things are important, but the moment that they become the center of a marital relationship, the foundation starts to crack because those things... anything other than God... they are limited, flawed and they just can't hold the weight of something so important as marriage.

One might say to me, "Nate, it's unfair to put this kind of pressure on a poor girl--it's easy to say God should be the center of your life, but as sinful humans we all fail to live that out consistently." Absolutely right. I'm in the same boat. I screw up so often and create so many idols for myself. I'm not looking for perfection... I'm looking for someone who is aware of her brokenness. Someone who recognizes how things should be--that Christ should be the center, but who is forthcoming about her failings. I don't want someone who acts like she's got it all together (and at the same time, someone who doesn't allow herself to wallow in despair or self-pity--someone who knows and accepts the love of Christ).

Marriage is a partnership, and that includes a strong element of accountability. A husband and a wife must be unfailingly vulnerable to each other, open about their struggles and sins, forgiving, and solution-minded: looking ahead and not behind (doesn't 1 Corinthians say something to this effect?). This is not to say that after 60 years, a husband and wife will have stopped messing up, but that over the course of those 60 years, they will have supported each other and helped each other to grow in relationship with Christ, even through very difficult times. This only happens if both partners are striving toward the same end--relationship with Christ--even in their broken, imperfect ways.

A second characteristic (yet related) is wisdom: This is different than intelligence... different than being well-educated. I am looking for someone who thinks things through before acting and speaking. Spontaneity can be fun, but rash decisions often lead to disaster. I know from experience just what it can cost a person to speak or act out of anger; to do or say something without first thinking. I am working so hard to be a patient and thoughtful person (having been at times very impatient and thoughtless), and in my mind that is an infinitely desirable characteristic in a significant other.

This is what I'm looking for. This is what I'm waiting for, praying for. I suppose that on my end, I need to try and develop these characteristics in myself, because if these are truly the characteristics that I'm looking for in a woman, she'll be looking for exactly the same things in a man. I need to strive to be a man of God, a man who some woman somewhere is praying to meet.

God provides. He's got a plan for my life and I absolutely must trust in this plan even at times when I feel frustrated, impatient and lonely.

October the first

One thing about colds to be grateful for: they always make you appreciate your health more than you did before. Getting sick is no fun, but feeling better is wonderful because you have something with which to compare wellness. After a rather miserable day yesterday, I'm on the road to recovery, and that arrival should coincide with my departure on Wilderness Camp. With any luck, I'll be genki/genki and a half on Tuesday morning. Thanks for your prayers!

Today was a relaxing day--just what I needed on the heels of a busy week. Usually, Saturday means an early morning and a trek out to Tama Hills for Cross Country, but with the SAT today, we opted instead to have our runners compete in a meet at ASIJ yesterday afternoon. I missed that meet, and felt bad about missing it... but realistically, I would've been a worthless coach with not much of a voice and a low-grade fever (my coaching during races involves a lot of running around to catch the runners at various points in the course and lots of... "loud encouragement", I guess we'll call it). Yesterday's meet meant that today was a free day. So, I slept in and went to the middle school volleyball games at CAJ--this was a fun opportunity, as I can't make it to most ms vb games. As my middle schoolers learn to enjoy cross country, work hard and see improvement from week to week, it's good to see middle schoolers learning the basics of other sports, and to see their genuine enjoyment of the game. With high school sports, the enjoyment is still there, but it can easily be masked by the pressure of the competition. The masks are down with the middle schoolers, however, who are clearly having fun learning how to play/practicing a sport.

Well, as I've written, the sky has grown dark and my belly has grown hungry. I think that I may just venture out of the apartment and forage for a meal.