Monday, November 12, 2012


A clear sense of calling is a powerful thing.  It was a clear sense of calling that brought me to Japan, and a clear sense of calling that led me to stay this long.  As I described in a recent post, I feel like I'm sort of drifting now, or waiting.  There are some days when I feel that sense of calling to stay here, to invest in language training, to gear up for the long haul... there are also some days when I wonder.

Tonight, for example... the "what if's" sprang to my mind as I thought about the year after next.  Two years ago, I'd been looking at the possibility of going back to school for a Master's this year.  Here I am now, no closer to even thinking about my Master's than I was two years ago... and perhaps even further back in the process, as I was at least searching for schools two years ago.  I know I want to come back for another year at CAJ--I established a good relationship with the class of 2015 when I taught them as freshmen and want to work with them again next year when they are Juniors.  I want to see that teaching relationship through.  But beyond that... the thought sprang to mind that perhaps the year after next might be an opportune time to take a leave and pursue my graduate education.

It was just an idea; I don't really know if that's what I want... it could even be that the whole idea will seem ridiculous to me tomorrow or a few days from now.

I feel a little bit like I'm in the middle of a giant maze, and I've got so many options for paths that I could take.  Sometimes I wish that God would drop more bread-crumbs to show me which way to go.

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